razzi's_romance by Carol Breen - 2000

Make Truth Your Friend

by Connie Brisson ~

Remember me?

It’s been a long time since I was inspired to write. 

Over two years have passed since I printed the last issue of Mosaic Magazine. It broke my heart (after devoting 14 years of my life to Mosaic) to let the printed version go and to move it to an online magazine to make it more affordable and to save some trees too.  I didn’t know what a journey that would be either as it took almost two years, a trail of web designers and a number of versions of the website to get to the amazing Linda Keller who was experienced and professional enough to finally deliver the beautiful website that was finally launched in August 2020.

By then, however, COVID-19 was wreaking havoc and we were all experiencing a different world and life. And although I was not happy about that, I did find some peace (about having to let the printed version of Mosaic go) as it became apparent that the printed magazine would not have been able to survive this extended calamity, and that the online magazine was an overall much better way to spread the love and light we all so sorely need right now.

And now I’m feeling called to write again, starting with the Spirit column in the Energies of the Week section of this online magazine.  I’m going to explore different ideas each week as they come up in my life from the perspective of being a spirit alive at this time who is looking to Spirit for help and wisdom.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced a kaleidoscope of difficulties since the pandemic began and although some of it has been surprisingly cathartic, some of it was just very painful. Like all of you, my life has taken so many twists and turns this last two years that it’s been hard to stay positive and centered. 

What has become apparent to me, as time and COVID-19 has slowly creeped by, is that it brought out a lot of “TRUTH,” not just in my life, but for everyone. 

The Truth brown road sign

I’ve had glasses since I was in Grade 2 (after a particularly awful Christmas where family members were fighting and I got hit a few times too). Since then, it’s been difficult for me to truly “see” the people that I love.  It has been easier to pretend I didn’t see “all” of them and to just focus on the good in our relationships. 

Over the years my rose-colored glasses began to accumulate marring scratches, and by the time the pandemic happened, they were so scratched that I had to take them off to see at all.  And in doing so, I began to see a lot more of the truth about my life and the people in it.

And the biggest truth of all was that I’ve spent most of my life being so scared of the “TRUTH.” 

In fact, looking back, even a glimpse of the bitter truth has often been so painful that I would make up excuses/stories to make sure I didn’t truly see it.  But this pandemic (and the months leading up to it) forced me to make a choice to either see it all for what it is – the good, the bad and the ugly – or go blind.

Well, actually, I think I often did see the truth, but when I saw a bit of ugliness mixed in it, I would just make up excuses about why that person would do whatever it was.  So, I did actually see the truth, but not the truth in the truth.

What do I mean?  Well, I think sometimes we do see the truth of things but when we make excuses for what we see, then we don’t allow ourselves to go deep enough to see the real truth behind someone’s actions… because we really don’t want to see that part of them and ourselves.  

For me, the real gift of this pandemic was that it opened my eyes to see what I couldn’t see before and it helped me to end the relationships that weren’t honest and true to me…

IMG_2562- Danger © Connie Brisson low res
Artist’s Loop, Brown Beach, Wild Pacific Trail, Ucluelet, BC
© Connie Brisson

One of the more ugly truths I experienced during COVID-19 was the loss of a what I thought was a very good friend/mentor, who I dearly loved and trusted for many years. Although I started off as a client of hers, over the years we became very close, talked all the time, and she was really more like a sister to me.  However, on the flip side, there were also times when I felt she was manipulating me into spending more money on her services and products that I normally would have.  I saw it… but I loved her… so I justified it by telling myself that she had some money issues (and most of us do) and that no one is perfect (we all have our quirks) and I carried on.

But after I stopped printing Mosaic (and spent my remaining money on the different versions of the website) I didn’t have any extra money to support her financially the same way, and then, to my surprise and horror, she wasn’t so friendly.  In fact, I didn’t hear from her for over a year and then, when we did talk and I told her how hurt I was by our broken friendship, she said we were never friends, just business associates.

Of course, that was shocking (and hurtful) because that wasn’t the way I saw our relationship – at all.  I was surprised because we often said that we loved the other and our relationship felt mutual. But now I see that my love for her (and the love I thought I was receiving) did blind me into making excuses for the parts of our relationship that I didn’t want to truly see. A part of me knew I was paying for the friendship, but I just didn’t realize how much (or that I was paying for it with my heart and not just my money). So, while I did see the truth, I really didn’t see the truth in the truth. 

The truth starts as a whisper; then when we ignore it, it eventually becomes a raging storm.  

“Life whispers to you all the time. It whispers, and if you don’t get the whisper, the whisper gets louder. If you don’t get the whisper when it gets louder, I call it like a little pebble — a little thump — upside the head… The pebble or the thump upside the head usually means it’s gone into a problem. If you don’t pay attention to the problem, the pebble then becomes like a brick. The brick upside your head is a crisis, and if you don’t pay attention to the brick upside your head, the crisis turns into a disaster and the whole house — brick wall — comes falling down.” — Oprah Winfrey

Razzi’s Romance
© Carol Breen

Yes, the truth can hurt, but it’s also so wildly liberating. There is an energetic freedom that comes with the truth that opens the doors to new, healthy experiences that never could occur when our energy was tied up in keeping a relationship alive, despite all odds.

And I see that my part of what went wrong is that I haven’t wanted to see the whole TRUTH in the people I love (and therefore, I was unable to).  It’s just so damn painful sometimes…  but now, I see that it’s much more painful to NOT see the whole truth. 

Because the truth doesn’t go away…  It’s like a best friend that loves you and it can patiently wait for as long as you need in order for you to see it.

So, although I lost someone I thought was a dear friend, I found a much better friend in return – the TRUTH.  And to be honest, I’m really excited about it.  What will it be like to not hide from the truth, but to instead use it as a powerful ally?  I’m ready to find out…

THIS WEEK, ask for the truth to be revealed (about something very important to you) and have the intention that it be for the highest good of all. Then wait and see what Spirit shows you.

Whatever it is, embrace it for the friend it is and then invite the transformational energy around it (because the TRUTH is always transformational) to blossom and grow into something beautiful that will truly nurture you…

“My longing for truth was a single prayer.”  Edith Stein

PS:  I’m looking for someone to write the Oracle part of the Energies of the Week.  I’d like someone who has a lot of experience with tarot cards (maybe you have your own deck) or we could use the Ryder deck to explore the different cards, their meanings and how the readers can learn from each card’s story.  If you are interested, or know someone, please email me at mosaicmagazine@shaw.ca

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Connie-Brisson-Mosaic-Magazine

Connie Brisson is the publisher and editor of Mosaic Mind, Body and Spirit Magazine since 2004. From a simple black and white newsprint format that began in 1996, she transformed it into a beautiful full color, gloss magazine that was distributed throughout Alberta, Canada until the end of 2018 (with a readership of over 100,000). It’s now evolved into an online magazine that continues to help people heal, transform and live their best lives. www.mosaicmagazine.ca

Carol-Breen

Carol Breen’s art is a visual diary of everyday objects and people around her. Her art is about color, humor, transformation, communication, and travel (both imaginary and real). Her early inspirations were comic books, hooked rugs, teapots, embroideries, blankets and patterned fabrics. For the past 28 years, she has lived in the city of Fort McMurray, Alberta. “What inspires you up there,” people ask? Sometimes her answer is, “Warm blankets and hot tea. Sometimes it’s snow patterns, red willow branches, green spring, orange foxes, ravens, people and, of course, dancing lights.” www.carolbreen.ca