by Abe Brown ~

There are moments in all of our lives when we have the unmistakable realization that everything is about to change. This occurred in my life several years ago.

I remember, with aching clarity, the time I REALLY failed. This was not a normal failure, but a pretty spectacular crash, which led to all sorts of collateral damage in my life and those I deeply cared about.

Like most of us, I had failed in the past but this particular failure was so significant, and it so profoundly affected the lives of family, friends and others that I cared about, that I made an attempt at suicide. That attempt at ending my own life changed my life forever. It changed my life because had I succeeded, I would have damaged the lives of those I care about, like my children, even more than the initial failure.

Failure can do something profound to our sense of worth and value. For me, this event led to a decision to end my life, but yet when I began to uncouple my worth and value from my performance, complete transformation began to occur.

In seeing my worth and value, the good news is that I was able to overcome my failure. I began to notice that all my failures, mistakes and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the insight and understanding that has created the new level of living and professional success that I now enjoy.

Attaining success is about having the courage to try new things and at times, not hit the mark. But each time we miss it, we learn, recalibrate our aim and then we can cultivate personal and professional success. The only thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve is the fear of failure.

Here are three ways to overcome failure:

We can rewire our response to mistakes and failures so that they’re not just things we avoid. The key? Self-love. Self-compassion. When we practice a new way of approaching failure, it can change failure from something we fear into something we embrace. The biggest challenge is giving yourself permission to relate to your failures differently.

To overcome failure, we need to learn from it. If we do not learn from our failure, all that pain and misery is wasted and we risk making the same mistakes again. Build on setbacks. Use them as stepping stones. Close the door on the past. Don’t dwell on failure or let it have any more of your energy, your time or space. Learn and simply move on.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Every dream, aspiration or idea for a new start-up, new business or project and every awakening of new possibilities. The only thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve is the fear of failure. So let’s live. Let’s be resilient, mentally and emotionally tough, unafraid. Let’s be fearless.

One final thought… Every adversity, every heartache and every failure carries with it the seeds of future success. Don’t be afraid so much of the failure, but fear getting stuck. I believe in second chances and I hope you do as well.

When everything changes, don’t give up. Transition and change can be your friend.


Abe Brown is the Coach’s Coach, Founder/President of Momentum Coaching,, and President of the Certified Coaches Federation,, (over 13,000 Life & Executive Coaches trained and certified). Abe provides Leadership and Executive Coaching and works with organizations around strategic planning, and facilitating coaching and training programs for employees.


Searching, © Lee Kreklewetz. Lee feels that developing her own style is a matter of trail and error and endeavors to create art that is uniquely her. She says: “When you make something that makes your heart sing you know why you make art, it’s for you, and if you get to show it on your blog and one person says that they like it, that is just the icing on the cake.”